Behind the Mask
Can you recall ever seeing a young child hiding his face behind his hand, within the belief that because he can't see you, he's actually disappeared and no-one can see him? This type of "hiding" isn't a behavior that's unique to children - The ways during which adults hide are often likened to hiding behind a mask. Hiding our true feelings for others, to guard them or protect ourselves. Hanging back with our opinions, just in case they cause offense. Acting confident and pretending nothing can hurt us. Or simply putting on a cheerful face once we do not feel very happy. We all wear masks at some points in our life.
But sometimes there are deeper reasons why we "hide" - we might not be truly comfortable with who we are or who we would like to be, or may worry that we cannot be accepted by others, so placed on a mask to undertake to look more like we expect people want us to be. We trust only a get few (family or close friends) to ascertain the "real" us.
What is it that creates us hide, and keeps
hiding, behind the mask?
It might be fear. Have you ever had that dream where you're giving a speech to a crowded room and you're the sole one with none clothes on? People have a universal fear of being exposed. If we begin from behind the mask, we run the danger of getting feedback about our "real" selves. Hiding behind a mask makes the danger of exposure less frightening.
It might be lack of self-confidence. A belief that we are in how inferior to those around us. We do not want to point out our "weak" points, and that we worry that folks won't like us, or that we cannot "fit in".
The danger is that the longer we hide behind the mask, the more uneasy it can make us, as we act during a way that's out of alignment with our true beliefs and values, and find you not seeming genuine. Not only that, but it are often physically and mentally exhausting trying to take care of a facade or a picture , and may rob us of our ability to be spontaneous and luxuriate in the instant , for fear of letting the mask slip.
So what can we do to face the fear, and take away the mask?
Firstly, just being aware that you simply have a mask may be a good starting point! Believe how you act around others - Are you the "nice guy", the joker", the "rebel", the "know-it-all", the "dumb blonde"??? Consider once you wear your mask, and when, if ever, you let it drop. Ask yourself what limitations your mask creates for you. Are there things that you simply tell yourself you cannot or shouldn't do because it wouldn't be appropriate? For instance, the "tough guy", who can't show emotion, or the "ice-maiden" who can't let her hair down.
Next, you would like to understand that the mask isn't who you’re. It going to sometimes serve a purpose, but is it really necessary as a permanent fixture? Have you ever reached some extent in your life where you're ready and willing to "drop the act" and plan to be the important you? Why waste the remainder of your life pretending to be someone or something aside from yourself?
Amongst the foremost highly valued characteristics we glance for in friends or colleagues are honesty, authenticity and trustworthiness. So, why not start by being your authentic self? Take courage! Drop the mask, and be the important you!
Justine Swainson may be a graduate of Oxford University, a licensed professional coach, and an accredited trainer and facilitator. Her company, turning point coaching and training works with individuals and business who are able to shine in their life or work, and specializes in using creativity as a way of expressing self, goals and dreams. Justine designs and delivers personal and business development workshops, also as coaching on a 1:1 and group basis.
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